He's The (Wo)Man
by Huynh-y Bunches Of Asian
Summary: Fang's got himself in a tizzy. He's so confused about why girls act the way they act. Iggy said it takes one to know one. So that's how he ended up dressing as a girl and secretly posting insight advice on women in his blog "Fang's Blog." With the help of Iggy and Ella, will Fang survive a few months at an all girl's academy while rooming with Nudge, Angel, Max and Maya?


**Chapter 1**

* * *

**::Fang::**

I lightly tapped the unsuspecting teenage girl on the shoulder. She turned around, giving me a once over before flashing me a flirtatious smile and quickly tangled her fingers into her fiery-red curls to twirl around a lock of hair. Of course all the preparation to impress disappeared as soon as the words tumbled out of my mouth.

"Are your parents retarded? _'Cause you sure are special._"

Her neatly plucked eyebrows furrowed as she took in the content, but once it was processed and settled in, her jaw dropped open as she gasped. As earlier hypothesized by Iggy, she pulled her arm back and snapped her wrist forward, hand making astounding contact with my left cheek. My head jerked to the side, and my mouth released an audible groan as there was a light _crack_.

"_Oh my gosh! _Are you insinuating that not only my parents are special needs, but I am, too? How _rude_! It's men like you who are setting such astonishingly low reputations for the incompetent male species! And I'll have you know that I graduated college one year early with a GPA of 3.9!" She huffed and stomped away to the next shop with her friends, who were occasionally turning around and giving me glares before they entered Banana Republic.

The small crowd of people that had stopped to see the ruckus had already shuffled away, phones out to text or call their friends and tell them what just happened. A small group of tween girls stood by the fountain staring non-stop in my direction. I took that as my cue to turn around and gracefully power walked – as in I nearly tripped over a garbage can – back to where Iggy sat at a food court table, peals of laughter escaping him as his arms were curled around his torso trying to stop the uncontrollable spasm.

I pulled out a chair and plopped into it, releasing a sigh as I rested my head on my crossed arms. A couple of minutes had passed, and Iggy was still struggling to catch his breath.

"Done yet?" I glared at him and blew away stray hairs that were tickling my forehead. He gave me the universal symbol for "one second."

"Phew," He wiped away an invisible tear before offering up his hand with the gimme-gimme motion, "I guess content does matter – even for the infamous Fangalicious Fangster. Now pay up!"

I grabbed my wallet from my back pocket and pulled out a fifty-dollar bill, slapping it into his hand, " I'll never understand girls. Like, legit, one minute they're all over you for being Mr.-Bad-Boy-Player, and the next minute they're all 'feed-the-poor-everything-you-say-is-offensive.'" I stopped to rub my cheek before continuing, "Anyway, what's the other part of the bet."

"Well...actually, I haven't thought of it yet, but I'm sure a few rounds of CoD will do the trick! Let's go, Fangles! I see kill-streaks and a win in my future."

* * *

After a couple games of Call of Duty, – Iggy crushing me 8-3 – we headed down stairs for a snack. Mom was still at work. She was rarely at home anyways. Her names Anne Walker, top detective of our state, so her schedule's always filled up. My little sister, Ella, walked in through the door.

I tossed her a quick, "Hey," as she walked straight past me, ignoring my comment as she raided the freezer for some ice-cream, slamming the door and letting out a frustrated shriek when she couldn't find any. "Geeze, I think your thong's in a twist, and you should pull that pole out from your butt. You know stress causes wrinkles."

Her head whipped around, eyes shooting out lasers, " _Shut up, Nicholas."_

I let out a low whistle as I turned to Iggy and said, "See what I mean? Girls are like never ending roller coasters! Not the good kind. It's like those rides with the whip-lashing corner turns and stomach flipping loops that make you feel like the cart's unstable."

"You just don't understand what it's like being a girl! Ugh, we have to go through so much more than guys; I doubt you'd last a second in our shoes!" Ella threw her hands up and down to exaggerate her point.

"I don't doubt it. I'm sure I could survive being a girl. All I have to do is flip my hair and complain about everything."

"Girls don't _only_ do that! We have to go through a period, and we have random cravings, and we have to give birth!"

I gave her a bland stare, "Is this your way of telling me you're pregnant?" Iggy snorted while drinking water and ended up sniffing some up his nose.

"Gah! You're an _insufferable little butt-hole!_"

"You're in trouble now, Fang. You know it's bad when girl's start using big words," Iggy commented unhelpfully.

Ella grabbed the closest thing to her – my car keys – and launched them with such force and accuracy that a Major League Baseball player would be jealous. They made contact with my chest, and the air in my lungs left with an _oof._

"Ow, gosh, Ella. Chill, I was just kidding," I closed my eyes and tried to focus on inhaling and exhaling. I rubbed the irritated skin that was probably bruising as I thought.

"I've got it!" Iggy announced suddenly, his blue eyes lighting up. He quickly turned to Ella and gave her a hug. Due to her huge crush on Iggy, Ella couldn't control the bright red blush spreading across her cheeks. "Thank you! Oh my g – I have _the_ best idea ever! I know what you're doing for the second part of the bet, Fang."

"Hm?" My eyes were still closed as I softly massaged my chest. It sounds strange, but it was quite relaxing. If collage fails, I'll become a masseuse. Plan B, check.

"-id you get that?" I opened my eyes and saw Iggy bouncing up and down from his built up excitement.

"Not a single word before 'did you get that.'" He threw me a glare and stopped bouncing.

"Okay, so the second part of the bet is gonna be, like...have you seen _She's the Man_?"

I thought for a second, "That movie with that one hot chick that plays that really hot sport?"

"By hot chick, do you mean Amanda Bynes, currently labeled druggie? If so, then yes. It's that one movie where she dresses up like a dude, because she wants to play soccer." I nodded. "Well, instead of you being a girl and wanting to play soccer, you're gonna go undercover as a girl. The school Ella goes to is still accepting new girls, and we'll get your stuff together tonight. So you'll be ready."

"Um...so, you're trying to say that I, Fang-Bad-Boy-Player, have to dress up like...a _girl_. For what reason? I seemed to have missed that part as you were spouting out crazies."

"For the male species, of course. You're gonna start a blog and call it _Fang's Blog –_"

I snorted, "How original."

" – and you're gonna blog your experiences in the female world for the other guys in this world that struggles from the womanly roller coaster! It's great!"

"Um...no it's not. I have to dress like a girl..._not_ great," I glared at him as fiercely as I could, but he was too busy calling Ella's hair dresser to make an appointment for a make-over.

* * *

We opened the door to the salon, the air conditioning cooling us from the summer heat. The bells chimed, and a few workers glanced up before getting back to chatting with their clients and cutting their hair. The guy manning the desk glanced up, looking back down, uninterested before jerking his head back up.

"Hey big boy," He purred, leaning over the counter, head perched on his fisted hand, flashing me a quick wink.

"Uh, ahem," I cleared my throat awkwardly, "I'm here for an appointment under Fang Walker."

The flirtatious light disappeared from his eyes, and his smile dropped as he glanced down at the appointment book, "Oh." Then he shouted to the workers, "Guys, we've got a Tranny!" His workers gave grunts of acknowledgments.

"N-no, that's not what it is!" I quickly shook my head back and forth, hands waving around in front of me. "I swear, look it's a bet –"

"It's all good, sweetheart. We don't judge around here. Now let's go back and wash your hair. Oh, Ella! You look gorgeous!"

Iggy was snickering to himself as he was listening to the conversation. Ella beamed at the stylist before chatting with him as he washed my hair.

Once I was in the chair, he – Ter Borcht – trimmed my hair so it looked more neat. Ella had explained the bet to him, and he was going to personally help with the make-up and other cosmetic or hair products that I needed.

"Okay, so first, we're gonna find the right length for your extensions. They're gonna be pretty expensive if you want them to be unnoticeable, Hon. If you can't do expensive, then we can bump down to a weave. It's not as nice as the extensions, but they serve the same purpose. I can fix them in so that it looks as natural as a weave can on a guy. And the last choice, if you don't want weave, we can do a full blown wig. The hairs will be plastic, not real, because it'd be just as expensive as the extensions if not more."

I grunted and nodded my head slightly. Ter Borcht went to retrieve different lengths of black weave and brought them out front. After trying on four different lengths, Ella and Iggy decided that the longest ones would look nice on me, so Geoffrey put them in.

After the weave had settled in, he started applying make-up. It would be simple so that I would be able to replicate it everyday. There was a dash of blush, curl the eyelashes, apply mascara and _voila_. We have Fangette.

Once we left the salon, we went to stores that every girl has gone to: _Abercrombie & Fitch, GAP, Ralph Lauren, Aeropostle, Pac-Sun, Banana Republic, Victoria's Secret etc_.

I swear I could go on for days. Honestly, you'd think the sales people would give me weird looks, but believe it or not, I just looked like a flat chested, slightly over muscular (for a girl), freakishly tall girl. We had mainly picked up jeans, a few pairs of sweat pants, shorts, and sun-dresses. The sun dresses all bunched up under where my _breast _would be and flared out to give an illusion of curves. The shorts would show off muscular (I guess those squats payed off), hairy legs. Of course, we had to have them waxed. Now the people in the wax place gave me strange looks. Apparently girl's shouldn't have legs or pits hairier than three Chewbacca.

Don't get me started on _Victoria's Secret_. I was stuffed into bras and panties for an hour and a half. Let me just say, thongs are the most _comfortable _things in the world! My God, they keep my junk from flopping everywhere. It's like a crotch girdle, but it exposes a little _too_ much in the back, if you know what I'm saying. Ella suggested that we could make those gel-like breasts from _Mrs. Doubtfire_, but it would be quite a hassle to keep it all together, so we decided to go with full-padded push-up bras and silicon shapers. With the full padded-bra, I was an A-cup, but if you add the silicon shapers, it enhanced my _breasts _to a C-cup. Apparently Ella knows from personal experience._  
_

After going to store after store, we finally arrived home at 9:30. We had spent seven non-stop hours of shopping and make-overing at the mall. We folded and packed all the clothes and necessities I would need through the night until 11 o' clock.

As we were packing, Iggy had me practice speaking in a higher, more girlish tone.

"Try..._Like, oh my gosh! He is just _too_ delicious!_" Iggy squealed at the end. I don't know how he did it, but he did. 50 percent of my mind is telling me I made the wrong decision to befriend him, but the other 50 percent was telling me Iggy was practically Yoda at the girl voice, so I would for sure have it down in two days.

"Like, oh my gosh! He is just_too_ delicious!" I added a giggle and a hair twirl at the end. Hey, I'm already stuck in this situation, so why not give it my all?

"Okay, so here it is. Your name's Nicole Walker. Your mother's still Anne Walker. You were a late transfer because you were recovering from the lower-left lung pneumonia. You're much better now. Your favorite color is grey - not black, but grey. Your favorite subject is literature. You've had two boyfriends, Holden and Ratchet. Your best friends were Kate and Star until you caught them flirting with Sam, which not only ended your friendship but also your relationship. Um, honestly I don't think there's anything else that we need to go over. If they ask some random question, just text me, or stall and find Ella for advice." He jammed the information into my head before we went to bed.

* * *

_ Two Days Later_

"Good luck, Pal," Iggy gave me a grin, a pat on the back and nodded before driving off. Ella sent me a sidelong glance.

"You're room's in that direction. Later, Loser!" Ella pointed the opposite way of where she was heading. Great. It's like freshman year all over again. Doesn't even have the decency to show me to my room. I shook my head and sighed but started walking towards the dorm rooms.

The halls were spacious, every now and then there would be a table in the corridors with flowers on it. They had large mirrors for decor, pictures from artists like Claude Monet, and replica statues of Leonardo Da Vinci's sculptures. They had all these expensive looking stuff and a gajillion floors, but they couldn't afford a single elevator? That's just wrong.

After almost breaking into five rooms and wandering the halls for about an hour, I made it to dorm room 219, my dorm room. I'd be sharing this with four other girls. Goodie!

I stuck the key into the lock, jiggled it a little, and twisted the doorknob, pushing the door open.

The first thing I see? My roommate making out with some dude on the couch, half naked.

* * *

** So I got bored, and that's how this story was born. I'm not sure if I'll continue it. Lemme know if I should. Um...this is unedited. No, it will not be based off _She's the Man _other than the fact that Fang is cross dressing. Yes, he seems to talk more than usual, but he's the main character, so chill unless you like non-existent dialogue stories besides the words from other characters. Yeah, I understand it's short, but it's late, I have school, and I'm tired. Leave me alone! Hope you liked it! (:**

** If you're a guy, then I'm hoping this will give you insight on the female species, and why they act the way they act. Maybe it'll even answer your questions! Leave some in the comments if you want me to go over them in the chapters, too! Or if you're a girl, yet you don't understand why certain girls do certain things, feel free to comment about it.**

** **EDIT: 2/10/14**

**Okay, so I just went through it again. I edited more - found some typos, fixed them - um, I added some stuff to make it more descriptive. I changed Geoffrey to Ter Borcht (You never see him anymore unless he's some pedophile creep that steals children), so yes, Ter Borcht is the gay hair-stylist. I'm not sure if he'll show up anymore than this, maybe he'll show up to fix Fangette's weave (Ha)? Er...I'm starting to work on chapter two. I'm not sure if it'll be done by tomorrow. Apparently the weather is going wacko crazy bat-shat, so even if I do finish typing and editing it, I might not have internet to post it! :/ Plus, I have to work on creating a cover for this story. If you're one of those PhotoShop wizards, and you don't mind creating a cover for my story, feel free to make one._  
_**

** Um, if you want, you can inbox me about what I would want on the cover...if not, I'll be working on one just in case! Thoughts and critiques are welcome! (:**

**BTW, Fang's hair is like his manga character, just slightly shorter. So, Google it if you don't know, and the make-up that was put onto him gave him more of a feminine look. Hopefully that's enough visualization for you.**

**- Huynh-y Bunches Of Asian**


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